I’m well known for being an uncooperative person and that is something I share with my Indigo Children peers. However, like my peers, that uncooperative behavior is often misunderstood. I have been accused of being an easily influenced person and rebelling for the sake of rebelling. There is also the common Indigo Children assertion of antiauthoritarianism. Interestingly, I don’t relate to any of these ideas.
At the heart of my uncooperative behavior is my sense of self. That confidence, that knowing, shakes others to their core. I refuse to cooperate for the sake of cooperation. I will listen to and consider your ideas and choose for myself, while allowing you to do the same. And I do my best to respect authority simply for the sake of manners, but sometimes that violates what is right and good for me.
The more some folks demand my cooperation, the more uncooperative they might find me. I’ll share a secret though… The key to my cooperation is consideration. My behavior is not the mystery or the violent rebellion many see. It’s logical, well thought out and right for me without needing to be right for you. If anyone wants my cooperation, they could simply engage in a conversation with me in an effort to understand and support each other.
But maybe it’s not about me at all. Maybe the ones that find me uncooperative are exploring something within themselves. Why do we need others to cooperate with us? I’m interested in supporting people to be themselves. If your journey involves behavior that conflicts with my personal boundaries, then that probably means we are in each other’s way. What it doesn’t mean is that one of us is right and the other is wrong. It means there is an opportunity that we haven’t discovered yet.
My friend Hank says he finds me very cooperative and that is even one of the qualities he enjoys most about me. That says a lot about Hank. He is profoundly wise. He considers me as an individual and we have lots of cool conversations that involve creative ideas specialized for our personalities and situations. It feels easy to spend time with Hank because of this.
The way to tell that I am not going to cooperate with you is my silence. If you find yourself engaged in a monologue with me as your audience, then you can be sure I am allowing you the opportunity to hear yourself. However, I am still listening and considering what you say. But without your consideration of me- it probably isn’t going to go well.
This happened to me today when a homie I’m just getting to know decided to perform a monologue in front of me in an effort to demand that people are wonderful. You see, I have a hard time in large groups or crowds of people. My empathic sensitivities can be too much and sometimes I even have panic attacks. But he doesn’t know that and wasn’t interested in hearing about it. He wanted to assert his ideas without considering me. That happens a lot when people demand that a food dish is wonderful without considering my allergies to its ingredients. I can accept that you love it, but I would appreciate if you didn’t force me to eat something that will harm me. The silly thing about the monologue I heard today is that I agreed with him. People are wonderful! But if you put 50 of my favorite people in a room I may still have a panic attack.
Hopefully by sharing my personal experiences, I can support you in discovering what’s right for you and inspire you to allow others to do the same. True power isn’t a leader with loyal subjects all in agreement. True power is knowing yourself. That may be something Indigo Children are commonly interested in, but it definitely applies to everyone. I support you and I’m open to what that means for you as an individual. Even if it means listening to your monologue so you can hear yourself.