Photographer: Lisa Honda of p.p.a.h. | CREATIVE
Location: Marin Town & Country Club of Fairfax, CA
Model: Abby Oliver of Indigo Children
Mermaid Tail: M&B Tails & More
Fin Design: Pablo Beronda of Freediving Tribe
Top: Abby Oliver
Special thanks to Michael and Anthony
All photos copyright Lisa Honda of p.p.a.h. | CREATIVE
I’m well known for being an uncooperative person and that is something I share with my Indigo Children peers. However, like my peers, that uncooperative behavior is often misunderstood. I have been accused of being an easily influenced person and rebelling for the sake of rebelling. There is also the common Indigo Children assertion of antiauthoritarianism. Interestingly, I don’t relate to any of these ideas.
At the heart of my uncooperative behavior is my sense of self. That confidence, that knowing, shakes others to their core. I refuse to cooperate for the sake of cooperation. I will listen to and consider your ideas and choose for myself, while allowing you to do the same. And I do my best to respect authority simply for the sake of manners, but sometimes that violates what is right and good for me.
The more some folks demand my cooperation, the more uncooperative they might find me. I’ll share a secret though… The key to my cooperation is consideration. My behavior is not the mystery or the violent rebellion many see. It’s logical, well thought out and right for me without needing to be right for you. If anyone wants my cooperation, they could simply engage in a conversation with me in an effort to understand and support each other.
But maybe it’s not about me at all. Maybe the ones that find me uncooperative are exploring something within themselves. Why do we need others to cooperate with us? I’m interested in supporting people to be themselves. If your journey involves behavior that conflicts with my personal boundaries, then that probably means we are in each other’s way. What it doesn’t mean is that one of us is right and the other is wrong. It means there is an opportunity that we haven’t discovered yet.
My friend Hank says he finds me very cooperative and that is even one of the qualities he enjoys most about me. That says a lot about Hank. He is profoundly wise. He considers me as an individual and we have lots of cool conversations that involve creative ideas specialized for our personalities and situations. It feels easy to spend time with Hank because of this.
The way to tell that I am not going to cooperate with you is my silence. If you find yourself engaged in a monologue with me as your audience, then you can be sure I am allowing you the opportunity to hear yourself. However, I am still listening and considering what you say. But without your consideration of me- it probably isn’t going to go well.
This happened to me today when a homie I’m just getting to know decided to perform a monologue in front of me in an effort to demand that people are wonderful. You see, I have a hard time in large groups or crowds of people. My empathic sensitivities can be too much and sometimes I even have panic attacks. But he doesn’t know that and wasn’t interested in hearing about it. He wanted to assert his ideas without considering me. That happens a lot when people demand that a food dish is wonderful without considering my allergies to its ingredients. I can accept that you love it, but I would appreciate if you didn’t force me to eat something that will harm me. The silly thing about the monologue I heard today is that I agreed with him. People are wonderful! But if you put 50 of my favorite people in a room I may still have a panic attack.
Hopefully by sharing my personal experiences, I can support you in discovering what’s right for you and inspire you to allow others to do the same. True power isn’t a leader with loyal subjects all in agreement. True power is knowing yourself. That may be something Indigo Children are commonly interested in, but it definitely applies to everyone. I support you and I’m open to what that means for you as an individual. Even if it means listening to your monologue so you can hear yourself.
My dad called today and told me the story of how I learned to swim. He said when my mom first took me to swimming lessons at the community pool, I screamed the whole time. This continued. I refused to get my head wet and just kept screaming for the duration of each lesson. They hired the pool owner’s daughter to give me private lessons which didn’t turn out any better.
So my dad says he took me home and watched the 1948 black and white film “Mr. Peabody and the Mermaid” which is still a favorite of mine today. The next day my dad took me back to the pool and I jumped right in, swimming underwater like the mermaid from the movie the entire time. My mom called over my private teacher who was stunned and wanted to know what had happened. Perhaps seeing another mermaid helped to remind me of who I am?
Today I still swim underwater the entire time. I am awkward at the surface turning my head to breathe in between arm strokes. But underwater, I move quickly and gracefully holding my breath for several minutes at a time, just like a real mermaid. I live on the beach in California far from where I grew up near the Mississippi River in the heart of the country. But being next to the ocean, and often in the ocean, feels more like home.
Much to the surprise of those who first tried to teach me to swim, I have grown up to become a free diver and underwater model. I wish everyone could experience what I do in the ocean. I love diving in the kelp forests off the coast and seeing all the beautiful fish and plants. The first 30 feet (9+ meters) I have to swim down, but then the atmosphere changes and I stop floating. If I keep going down further, I simply allow myself to sink into the ocean where the atmosphere gently pulls me down as though embracing me.
It’s stunningly beautiful down there and so different from the world on the surface. It’s the closest I’ve come to traveling to another planet. Imagine all we would miss if we lived in the clouds and looked at the tree tops of the forests but never ventured down into them. Free diving is also the closest I’ve come to flying. When I swim, it’s like I’m flying through the trees among the other birds (or in this case, fish). My world is full of grumpy looking stingray’s bigger than me, bright purple starfish as big as me, curious sharks who aren’t interested in eating me, schools of fish who swim along next to me, tiny little fish who hide in the kelp with me, and playful seals who zoom quickly past me.
The more I dive, the more real my dreams become. They aren’t like regular dreams though, they feel more like memories. If past lives are real, then certainly I was a mermaid once. When people talk about past lives, mermaids and Indigo Children, they talk about what they believe. I haven’t decided to believe or not. I simply remember.
I’ve visited the Hawaiian Islands many times now and there is something so familiar about them that comes from very deep within me. I’ve been to other islands and tropical places but I only have this feeling when I’m in Hawaii. Many people say that Hawaii used to be part of a large land mass called Lemuria that sank before Atlantis. The islands we know now would have been the highest points of Lemuria which are sticking up out of the water from the submerged land mass. When I meditate, I often begin to imagine a place that seems very similar to what Lemuria would have been like.
The more I meditate and dream and try to remember, the more it all comes to life. I’ve shared some of these memories with my friends and it’s as though the energy changes in the room. Everyone has had the same reaction of emotion and they have all urged me to share my story with a larger audience. I will when I’m ready. For the moment I’m happy to share my memories though images and film clips that I hope help you remember how magical life is and maybe you will start to remember yourself as well. We weren’t all mermaids in a past life, but we are all magical.
I do think being an Indigo Child has helped me remember myself as a mermaid. For one, Indigo Children don’t make the best corporate employees and so we do tend to end up supporting ourselves in unconventional ways such as being a professional mermaid. But also, my lucid and precognitive dreaming habits have played a big part in remembering. Meditating has had an important role as well. The more I nurture my intuition, the more I remember. Even so, my sparkly friend Fairy Paloma didn’t need to be an Indigo Child to find her true self as a fairy. I hope my mermaid adventures will inspire you in whatever way you are ready to be inspired.
Special thanks to magic artist Saul Escobar for the magical mermaid portraits. Follow him on instagram @whiskeytime.
Special thanks to my favorite freediver Pablo Beronda for designing the beautiful and functional mermaid tail in the photos. Check out Pablo diving in Hawaii on his website Freediving Tribe. If you’re interested in becoming a freediver or mermaid yourself, contact Pablo for lessons!
Last night I went stargazing at the planetarium at the University of California Los Angeles. Sometimes it’s fun to look at photos of home.
I heard a theory that Indigo Children come from the star system of Nihal, also called Beta Leporis. Nihal is the second brightest star in the constellation of Lepus which is Latin for hare. It is 160 light years from Earth and located under Orion’s feet. It’s pretty similar to our sun (they’re in the same class) only a little brighter.
UCLA gives a free show every Wednesday and it’s open to the public. This week, grad student Sam gave a presentation on the power of 10. He was cool enough to send me the presentation to share with you. Below are the images of what you would see if you started at the UCLA Planetarium and moved back 10 to the power of 1, 10 to the power of 2, 10 to the power of 3, etc. Regardless of your personal starseed theory beliefs, it’s rather mind blowing and hopefully will make you feel a whole lot closer to home.
10 to the power of 1
The UCLA Planetarium
10 to the power of 2
The roof of the Math Sciences building with the planetarium and telescopes in full view.
10 to the power of 3
The UCLA Campus. The campus includes 163 buildings across 419 acres.
10 to the power of 4
UCLA nested up against the hills with Santa Monica to the lower left. The 405 meanders up through the mountains and the 10 can be seen heading off to the ocean.
10 to the power of 5
The Los Angeles basin with the Santa Monica Mountains, San Gabriel Mountains, and San Fernando valley .
10 to the power of 6
From here, we can see most of California, as well as parts of Utah, Nevada, Arizona, and Mexico. The patchwork nature of the image is due to the many different satellite images used to create these maps in Google Earth.
10 to the power of 7
Our home! The Earth is roughly 8000 miles in diameter.
10 to the power of 8
Roughly the size of geostationary orbit.
10 to the power of 9
Distance to the moon is roughly 30 times the diameter of the Earth (roughly a quarter of a million miles). It takes light one second to travel from the Moon to the Earth – it took the Apollo astronauts four days to get there. The red line indicates the orbit of the earth.
10 to the power of 10
10 to the power of 11
We know span the distance between the orbits of Venus and Mars, our planetary neighbors.
10 to the power of 12
We now encompass the orbits of the inner planets plus the asteroid belt. The orbits of Jupiter and Saturn are just coming into view. The earth (red orbit) is 93 million miles from the Sun – a distance which takes light 8 minutes to traverse. Mars is roughly 150 million miles, whereas Jupiter is closer to half a trillion miles.
10 to the power of 13
We have finally encompassed all the orbits of all the planets in our Solar System (and even one not-planet). Neptune is roughly 30 times further from the Sun than the Earth is – nearly 3 billion miles. Pluto sits on the inside of a belt of icy objects known as the Kuiper belt. This belt is responsible for many of the comets which cruise through our neighborhood every so often and may be the original source of much of the water and organic material found on the Earth.
10 to the power of 14
At this distance, we are now encompass the furthest probes sent out from Earth. Voyager 1 (indicated by the red dot), launched in 1977, is currently 9.74 billion miles from home and traveling at 38,000 mph away from the sun. It takes signals 13 hours to reach the spacecraft, which is still monitored daily at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory.
10 to the power of 15
At 10^15 meters, even the orbits of the giant planets are lost to the glare of the Sun.
10 to the power of 16
Encompass the Oort Cloud; ~3 ly across. The Oort Cloud is believed to be a cloud of icy debris – remnants of the formation of our solar system and the source of so-called ‘long period’ comets. At this distance – roughly a third of the way to the nearest star – the icy objects are barely bound to the solar system by the Sun’s very weak gravitational field.
10 to the power of 17
Roughly 10 ly across; 10 stars in this volume including a binary system (Sirius) and a triple star system (Alpha Centauri – the closest stars to the Sun)
10 to the power of 18
Roughly 100 ly across. This map marks 133 of the brightest stars in this volume; in reality there are roughly 2000 stars in this space
10 to the power of 19
The Sun is passing through a region of space known as The Local Bubble. It is a region roughly 300 light years across where the density of material is roughly a tenth the average density throughout the galaxy – only one atom for every 20 cubic centimeters. It is thought that this region was cleared out by a nearby supernova several million years ago. Our local bubble also abuts other nearby bubbles.
10 to the power of 20
In a volume of space roughly 10,000 ly across, we start to see evidence of the spiral arms which make up our galaxy. We sit on the inside edge of a partial arm, called the Orion Arm. Under dark skies, you can see a band of light across the sky – what you’re seeing is these arms from the point of view inside the disk. The arms are named for constellations through which they pass.
10 to the power of 21
The Milky Way galaxy – our home in the Universe. The MW contains about 200 billion stars. The Sun sits roughly 30,000 light years from the center of the galaxy, on the inside edge of the Orion Arm, where it takes about 200 million years to orbit the galaxy. Out by us, the disk of the galaxy is roughly 1000 ly thick. The center of the galaxy has a bar like structure feeding through a central bulge. At the very center of our galaxy, there sits a supermassive black hole roughly 3 million times more massive than our Sun.
10 to the power of 22
Roughly 1 million ly across (300 kpc). Our Milky Way has roughly 13 known satellite galaxies, of which only the largest are shown here. The SMC and LMC (both roughly 150,000 ly away) can be seen from dark skies in the Southern Hemisphere and are currently being swallowed by the Milky Way. Astronomers have detected a stream of gas, dust, and stars being ripped off from the LMC and connecting with the MW in what is known as the Magallenic Stream.
10 to the power of 23
Roughly 10 million ly across (3 Mpc). Our galaxy has roughly 35 neighbors in a group of galaxies known as The Local Group. The Milky Way and Andromeda are the two largest galaxies in the Local Group, roughly 2 millions light years apart – and hurtling towards one another! Our two galaxies are expected to collide in about 5 billion years, roughly the same time our Sun blows off it’s outer layers in its golden years.
10 to the power of 24
Roughly 100 million ly across (30 Mpc). Encompasses the Virgo Supercluster. A supercluster is a large grouping of many clusters of galaxies and are among the largest structures in the Universe. We reside on the edge of a supercluster called the Virgo Supercluster which gets its name from the large galaxy cluster at its center, the Virgo Cluster. The Local Group is falling towards the Virgo Cluster at about 200 km/s.
* Number of galaxy groups within 100 million light years = 200
* Number of large galaxies within 100 million light years = 2500
* Number of dwarf galaxies within 100 million light years = 50 000
* Number of stars within 100 million light years = 200 trillion
10 to the power of 25
Roughly 1 billion light years across. We start to see that superclusters exist along sheets and filaments which wind their way through the Universe. It is believed that these sheets are made predominately of dark matter to which the luminous matter of stars and galaxies is attracted through their mutual gravity. We also start to see the existance of large bubbles and voids several hundreds of millions light years across. The Virgo Supercluster, along with many others, are flowing like a river towards the Shapley Supercluster – one of the most massive collections of galaxies in the local Universe.
* Number of superclusters within 1 billion light years = 100
* Number of galaxy groups within 1 billion light years = 240 000
* Number of large galaxies within 1 billion light years = 3 million
* Number of dwarf galaxies within 1 billion light years = 60 million
* Number of stars within 1 billion light years = 250 000 trillion
10 to the power of 26
Roughly 10 billion light years across – encompasses most of the visible Universe; roughly 100 billion galaxies! This image is from a very complex, sophisticated computer simulation which tracks the structure of all the matter in the Universe. At these scales, the Universe starts to look very “foamy” and is often compared to the structure of soap bubbles. All of the galaxies in the Universe reside along the threads and filaments while the spaces between are pretty much empty. Why the Universe ended up looking this way is one of the leading questions in modern astrophysics. Current research indicates that these structures may have been in place when the Universe was mere fractions of a second old – tiny perturbations on quantum scales which have been magnified to the current size due to the relentess expansion of the Universe.
10 to the power of 27
Larger than the visible Universe! What we would see at this size is unknown. The Universe is 13.7 billion years old which means that there are photons of light which have not yet had time to reach us here on Earth. This is what we mean by the “visible universe” – it’s the universe that we can see because those photons have had enough time to make it to Earth. What’s beyond that may just be more of the same. Or maybe it’s something completely different. We don’t know if there’s an edge to the Universe. And because of the expansion of the Universe, there are parts of the Universe that we will NEVER see – the expansion of space just keeps carrying that light further away from us. It seems there may be vey hard limits to our knowledge imposed on us by the structure of the cosmos!
And it all started with this… A bunch of hydrogen atoms. And to make these numbers even more daunting, an average human body has around 7×10^27 atoms.
When Mercury goes Retrograde about three times a year, communication breaks down, people fight and electronics stop working. And occasionally that all equals a black eye.
Today’s shiner is courtesy of the homeless girl that ran over and punched me in the face in the middle of the day because she thought I was following her. Special thanks to my surf buddy Bob who pulled her off me. I swear if I can ever afford it I’m going to hire a bodyguard. This Indigo Children stuff is dangerous.
I’m obviously still working on the silver light energy work, but in the meantime I’m faced with the challenge of what to wear with a black eye. My wonderful neighbor is a stylist and helped me out with a few tips today.
Tip #1 – Rock what you got. Keep your makeup simple and light. Trying to hide your black eye just looks like you’ve got something to hide.
Tip #2 – Keep it classy. Your cut-offs and favorite t-shirt aren’t going to do it today. Dress it up a little with a nice shirt and cute shoes.
Tip #3 – Accessorize lightly. Chose simple earrings and either a ring or bracelet. Too much bling is distracting in this case.
Hopefully I’ll master the invisible energy thing soon but, for now, at least I look good.
Special thanks to John Byers for the photos and FG Stylz for the tips!