Why Indigo Children are Uncooperative

Why Indigo Children are UncooperativeI’m well known for being an uncooperative person and that is something I share with my Indigo Children peers. However, like my peers, that uncooperative behavior is often misunderstood. I have been accused of being an easily influenced person and rebelling for the sake of rebelling. There is also the common Indigo Children assertion of antiauthoritarianism. Interestingly, I don’t relate to any of these ideas.

At the heart of my uncooperative behavior is my sense of self. That confidence, that knowing, shakes others to their core. I refuse to cooperate for the sake of cooperation. I will listen to and consider your ideas and choose for myself, while allowing you to do the same. And I do my best to respect authority simply for the sake of manners, but sometimes that violates what is right and good for me.

The more some folks demand my cooperation, the more uncooperative they might find me. I’ll share a secret though… The key to my cooperation is consideration. My behavior is not the mystery or the violent rebellion many see. It’s logical, well thought out and right for me without needing to be right for you. If anyone wants my cooperation, they could simply engage in a conversation with me in an effort to understand and support each other.

But maybe it’s not about me at all. Maybe the ones that find me uncooperative are exploring something within themselves. Why do we need others to cooperate with us? I’m interested in supporting people to be themselves. If your journey involves behavior that conflicts with my personal boundaries, then that probably means we are in each other’s way. What it doesn’t mean is that one of us is right and the other is wrong. It means there is an opportunity that we haven’t discovered yet.

My friend Hank says he finds me very cooperative and that is even one of the qualities he enjoys most about me. That says a lot about Hank. He is profoundly wise. He considers me as an individual and we have lots of cool conversations that involve creative ideas specialized for our personalities and situations. It feels easy to spend time with Hank because of this.

Why Indigo Children are UncooperativeThe way to tell that I am not going to cooperate with you is my silence. If you find yourself engaged in a monologue with me as your audience, then you can be sure I am allowing you the opportunity to hear yourself. However, I am still listening and considering what you say. But without your consideration of me- it probably isn’t going to go well.

This happened to me today when a homie I’m just getting to know decided to perform a monologue in front of me in an effort to demand that people are wonderful. You see, I have a hard time in large groups or crowds of people. My empathic sensitivities can be too much and sometimes I even have panic attacks.  But he doesn’t know that and wasn’t interested in hearing about it. He wanted to assert his ideas without considering me. That happens a lot when people demand that a food dish is wonderful without considering my allergies to its ingredients. I can accept that you love it, but I would appreciate if you didn’t force me to eat something that will harm me. The silly thing about the monologue I heard today is that I agreed with him. People are wonderful! But if you put 50 of my favorite people in a room I may still have a panic attack.

Hopefully by sharing my personal experiences, I can support you in discovering what’s right for you and inspire you to allow others to do the same. True power isn’t a leader with loyal subjects all in agreement. True power is knowing yourself. That may be something Indigo Children are commonly interested in, but it definitely applies to everyone. I support you and I’m open to what that means for you as an individual. Even if it means listening to your monologue so you can hear yourself.

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4 thoughts on “Why Indigo Children are Uncooperative

  1. Hello Abby,

    It’s so nice, refreshing and unusual for me to read your writing fellow Indigo! Did I register for your site or did you get my name from Jill and Remi or from where did you find me 🙂 ?
    It’s quite freaky really how much I relate to what you are saying Abby and for as long as I can remember.
    Empathetic Sensitivities huh 🙂 ? Really love this! One minute I’m a rebel and the next I’m crying all throughout watching Peter Pan. I can see someone get hurt and spring into action like it was myself and frankly, I’m probably my own worst enemy many times. Abby, there have been very few people that have “gotten me” in terms of the depth I operate from and you just wrote about it I’m thinking and feeling. Yes, very intuitive and score like 95 on that Indigo test.
    And you?
    One time in my life I sat next to someone who was like myself, we both had the same results in the Muyers Briggs come to find out. Your “uncooperative” article is like this for me so if you would like to ask me questions or anything at all or give me a call please feel free ok? I’m thinking all of this time: “Hmmm, how do I make this also about Abby?” Well, this last sentence is what I came up with because something tells me we could go on for days and then, not totally sure so I naturally hesitate. would like to get to know you some more if this is possible?
    If you know Jill, I took a course from her maybe a year and a half ago now but we got along great. She will most likely recall me as: “The Indigo Godfather”. Otherwise I’ve been “playing with dreams and stars and the patterns that may benefit both me and others lately. namely a game-like achievement system with stars and the universe as the major theme and connection points.
    What do you like to do personally and professionally if I may ask Abby? What causes are you into these days?
    Here are some words which may resonate for or with you as they do mightily do for me:
    Community, Honesty, Integrity, Free Spirit, Colors, all colors, Learn what your gifts (genius is another moniker) are then give them back, downtrodden need a voice, empathy, mis-understood, “John always makes money with his projects but I don’t know how he does it” (said mostly before 2007 estate crash but I will be back!), Intuitive (let me try to guess your number 1-10 Abby), ADD, Won’t give up if I believe in the cause and/or you, true friend, does not work to ability (from grade school), polymory looks intriguing to me, open and this gets me in trouble sometimes, just want to be loved and feel love and it’s so hard to come by, why?, …well, could go on Abby, but maybe this is enough for now right? Just started brainstorming when I was actually going to close this note to you! Guess, I don’t want you to think I’m not on the ‘up and up’ right? So Hit’s or misses with some of your ;hot spots’ or not Abby?

    Till Then,


    PS (trained as a arch. planner (became a builder) and artist, so no, not a “crackpot”, very creative and tenacious ‘idea guy’ though 🙂

  2. Thank you for your comment, John! It’s always good to hear from people who are similar when feeling so different most days. If you didn’t sign up for my site yourself then one of your friends must have added you. I’m so glad you are relating to the content. Are there any topics you would like to see as an article? I’d love your continued feedback 🙂

    1. Hi There Abby,

      I just came across these words I wrote to you earlier in the year!
      Everything still resonated with me. I actually never saw your comment back to me till now.

      Please consider somehow communicating directly to me, would like to speak with you sometime. You stated some consistencies that are, for the most part, true in my life but never so eloquently stated. Would you consider yourself a dreamer or? My response when you get in touch !


      PS since writing this to you I believe that I am evolving from Indigo to “Crystal, Lightworker”.
      Y tu?

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